Argh Raccoons!

I hate raccoons. So freaking much. They creep me out hardcore. Last night I had this awful dream in which I was coming back to my apartment after being away for maybe like a weekend. My father was with me (I don't know why). So I open my door and this tiny little skunk-looking raccoon is running around my feet! Gah! It freaked me out. It was a baby raccoon. And I was going crazy asking where it came from and whatnot. And then it kind of fast-forwarded and I was patching up loads of holes in my walls that a big raccoon had burrowed. And my dad was sitting on my couch bossing me around and not helping me. But then the baby raccoon came back and I was like so skeeved out. And then dad grabbed the baby raccoon and like pushed in on his skull and killed it. And even though I was relieved, I started crying. And then I woke up and my leg was like dangling off my bed and I imagined a raccoon hand grabbing my leg and pulled my leg back up on the bed. Ughhh. Raccoons are soooo gross. It creeped me out.

So besides that, it's my mom's birthday! I miss her and I wish I could be with her. Also, today I had my Sula group presentation. I woke up early and made pudding, I had to make 2 batches because I burnt the first batch. And then I went to class and did my thing. I have a good bit of pudding left, but whatever. But what I was really thinking about is how I have totally defeated my fear of talking in front of the class. Like I used to be that kid in middle school that would turn an unnamed shade of red and cry when I had to get up in front of the class. Now I just get a little shaky beforehand, but I can get through it fine. I feel proud about that. It is nice to feel proud, because recently my self-esteem has been taking a few hits. Like I haven't been losing poundage even though I've been working hard. So that's been rough, but I've decided that I am going to just keep on doing what I've been doing, mix it up a little, and eventually I will get over this plateau and lose again. So I am trying to be confident.

I think I am going to try and get honors credit for my 20th Century Lit class. I am gonna ask B-White today if I can read one of Carson McCullers' books or novellas and to a literary analysis of it for honors credit. I doubt he will mind. I am excited.