Rule#8

Don't spit your chew in the urinal.

So yea, last night the urinal got clogged since some one spit their chew in there. Gross. People are REALLY not good with bathrooms are they?

Rule #7

Don't shit all over the walls and toilet and leave your shit-covered underwear in the corner.

I feel like this is self-explanatory. Fucking gross.

Rule #6

Don't call the Kum & Go and ask to talk. Like just to talk. As if it was a friendly call, even though I have no clue who you are.

Ok, this is really creepy. This is the second time this has happened to me. Some guy calls on the phone and says "Hey" like we're old friends. I continue to ask who he is and what he needs. "John" just wants to talk, aand wonders if I have time to talk. Fuck that, I'm at work. So freaking creepy. Like he talks as if he knows me, and it freaks me out. I always end up hanging up on him, because I am just so creeped out by it all. So this is my new rule: Don't call the Kum & Go to talk to me if you're some creepy guy that I don't know.

Rule #5

Seriously now? I get it, gas can mean flatulence, however, at a gas station convenience store where gas means gasoline, the joke get old fast. Stop.

It's really not funny anymore. Please, please stop it. It gets awkward for me, and I really hate fake-laughing at lame jokes.

Rule #4

Do not drive away from the pump with the nozzle still in your car.

Now, to most people, this would seem like an obvious rule. However, last night, a woman DID drive away with the nozzle in her car, and ripped the hose from the pump. She got all the way to Liberty Missouri, which is like 2 hours away, with a gas pump hose dangling out of her car. Wow. But not only that, which to be honest, on it's own was enough of a hardship last night, but because of this lady, all the pumps starting shutting off every hour. I called loads of people and no one helped me. Let's just say last night was a night from hell.

Rule #3

Don't preach to me.

I almost feel like saying "'nuff said," but I want to explain. It is surprising how many people that are out at night are jesus freaks. And I'm not talking about nice older ladies who like jesus. I'm talking about people who spend 30 minutes telling me the story of Christ (which I already know), or taking my hand and asking if they can pray for me. I'm talking about dudes who look like they are in a rock band, and call God Abba/Allah, and pray at me, and call me "Sister." I'm talking about dudes who most definitely seem to be high and ask me if I was one of those girls that had a daddy that treated me like a princess, because I had such a glow and confidence that I just had to have gotten that from a daddy who treated me well. This is not only condescending, because just in case you didn't know, women can be confident without the help from a male, but it is also very false. I'm kind of sick of yessing and mhmm-ing these people to appease them. However, telling them that I do not believe in organized religion and that I just believe in what experience has taught me will probably get me another 45 minutes of "I'm-just-trying-to-save-you," crap. Eh, it's annoying.

Rule #2

Do not expect favors from me. Just because you fake-flirt with the fat girl at the Kum & Go doesn't mean she will magically be able to get some hot dogs to you.

I'm the fat girl obviously haha. No but really, last night was all about favors. Like 5 guys asked me to either let them buy beer after 2:00 am, or give them a discount, or whatever. Mmm, how about...no? That sounds good. Just leave already?

Besides the constant favors, last night was still shitty. I dropped over $1300 into the safe. And usually in fridays, I maybe drop about half of that. I was so busy. I didn't stop moving all night. So now I'm totally wiped out, but it's ok. After this weekend, work will be easier. I'm excited to get some reading done.

Rule #1

When stealing from the Kum&Go, Don't be obvious.

Ok, it's bad enough that I don't care enough about the Kum&Go's money to actually try and stop people from stealing. However, it's even worse that some people really fucking suck at stealing. So, it's almost an insult to myself to not report them. Like really, walking stiff-backed, constantly looking over towards me, to see if I'm looking, stuffing large bottle-shaped objects into your pants, is so obvious that it literally insults me. I feel insulted today. And, it's just so stupid that they would come in and steal while I'm there. I mean I go to college with them, if I wanted, I could find out their names and get them in trouble. How stupid. I mean, I'm not going to do that, because I sincerely don't give a shit about the Kum&Go and the money they lose. But, at least put a little effort into it, sheeeyat.

By the way, I am going to do little rules like this sometimes. It's fun.