11 Days left

I have about 11 days left at the Kum&Go. And honestly, I wish it was less. I am so ready to start all these new things, but I can't until I'm done there. It's just stressing me out. I want to be done now, but I still have all these shifts to go.

I mean I have all these other awesome things to do. Like work for BWhite, which has been fun so far. And Melissa just asked me to be Assistant Editor of the paper, which is super awesome. Plus, I want to hang with my friends. And I will when I am done at the Kum&Go. I am just so excited to be out of there.

Tomorrow night is my last overnight, and I can't wait for it to be over. I have work today, and it's going to blow, but I'll deal. Only 11 days. 11 days. ugh

The countdown begins.

So I gave my notice to the Kum&Go today. I feel really bad about it. I really really do. Like I know that it is the best thing for me to do, but I still feel awful about it. And I won't lie, part of me does feel good about it, because I don't really want to work there anymore. But mostly right now, I feel bad. I told Carolyn that I would work for three more weeks to help her out. I mean really, I am doing as much as I can. I'm probably doing more than I can. Now all I'm dreading is dealing with everyone else at the Kum&Go and having to justify myself to them. But honestly, what the fuck ever. Like it's not like I'm quitting this job to spend all my time doing nothing. Overall, I'm happy with my decision. I just hope that they are able to find some one before I go.

Working hard for that money...

Even though some of the fun college kids are coming back, the Kum & Go has been annoying me a lot recently. I can't wait until school starts, because then I'll only have to be there 2-3 days a week. It will be awesome. Can't wait to be out of this monkey suit for good.

Rule#8

Don't spit your chew in the urinal.

So yea, last night the urinal got clogged since some one spit their chew in there. Gross. People are REALLY not good with bathrooms are they?

Rule #7

Don't shit all over the walls and toilet and leave your shit-covered underwear in the corner.

I feel like this is self-explanatory. Fucking gross.

Rule #6

Don't call the Kum & Go and ask to talk. Like just to talk. As if it was a friendly call, even though I have no clue who you are.

Ok, this is really creepy. This is the second time this has happened to me. Some guy calls on the phone and says "Hey" like we're old friends. I continue to ask who he is and what he needs. "John" just wants to talk, aand wonders if I have time to talk. Fuck that, I'm at work. So freaking creepy. Like he talks as if he knows me, and it freaks me out. I always end up hanging up on him, because I am just so creeped out by it all. So this is my new rule: Don't call the Kum & Go to talk to me if you're some creepy guy that I don't know.

Rule #5

Seriously now? I get it, gas can mean flatulence, however, at a gas station convenience store where gas means gasoline, the joke get old fast. Stop.

It's really not funny anymore. Please, please stop it. It gets awkward for me, and I really hate fake-laughing at lame jokes.

Rule #4

Do not drive away from the pump with the nozzle still in your car.

Now, to most people, this would seem like an obvious rule. However, last night, a woman DID drive away with the nozzle in her car, and ripped the hose from the pump. She got all the way to Liberty Missouri, which is like 2 hours away, with a gas pump hose dangling out of her car. Wow. But not only that, which to be honest, on it's own was enough of a hardship last night, but because of this lady, all the pumps starting shutting off every hour. I called loads of people and no one helped me. Let's just say last night was a night from hell.

Rule #3

Don't preach to me.

I almost feel like saying "'nuff said," but I want to explain. It is surprising how many people that are out at night are jesus freaks. And I'm not talking about nice older ladies who like jesus. I'm talking about people who spend 30 minutes telling me the story of Christ (which I already know), or taking my hand and asking if they can pray for me. I'm talking about dudes who look like they are in a rock band, and call God Abba/Allah, and pray at me, and call me "Sister." I'm talking about dudes who most definitely seem to be high and ask me if I was one of those girls that had a daddy that treated me like a princess, because I had such a glow and confidence that I just had to have gotten that from a daddy who treated me well. This is not only condescending, because just in case you didn't know, women can be confident without the help from a male, but it is also very false. I'm kind of sick of yessing and mhmm-ing these people to appease them. However, telling them that I do not believe in organized religion and that I just believe in what experience has taught me will probably get me another 45 minutes of "I'm-just-trying-to-save-you," crap. Eh, it's annoying.

Rule #2

Do not expect favors from me. Just because you fake-flirt with the fat girl at the Kum & Go doesn't mean she will magically be able to get some hot dogs to you.

I'm the fat girl obviously haha. No but really, last night was all about favors. Like 5 guys asked me to either let them buy beer after 2:00 am, or give them a discount, or whatever. Mmm, how about...no? That sounds good. Just leave already?

Besides the constant favors, last night was still shitty. I dropped over $1300 into the safe. And usually in fridays, I maybe drop about half of that. I was so busy. I didn't stop moving all night. So now I'm totally wiped out, but it's ok. After this weekend, work will be easier. I'm excited to get some reading done.

Rule #1

When stealing from the Kum&Go, Don't be obvious.

Ok, it's bad enough that I don't care enough about the Kum&Go's money to actually try and stop people from stealing. However, it's even worse that some people really fucking suck at stealing. So, it's almost an insult to myself to not report them. Like really, walking stiff-backed, constantly looking over towards me, to see if I'm looking, stuffing large bottle-shaped objects into your pants, is so obvious that it literally insults me. I feel insulted today. And, it's just so stupid that they would come in and steal while I'm there. I mean I go to college with them, if I wanted, I could find out their names and get them in trouble. How stupid. I mean, I'm not going to do that, because I sincerely don't give a shit about the Kum&Go and the money they lose. But, at least put a little effort into it, sheeeyat.

By the way, I am going to do little rules like this sometimes. It's fun.

Bad Night

The Kum&Go got robbed last night. I was working. It was awful and I hated it. I don't want it in my brain any more.

Oh sheesh...

Oh boy oh boy! Today has been weird. I woke up this morning at 11:30, after working all last night. My phone had some messages so I listened to them and the last one was from the Kum & Go letting me know that the $380 that I paid out was missing. Gah! That's bad news! So I went in and searched around looking for it. We couldn't find it anywhere! I was freaking out, because I thought I might get fired. It was awful. But then we started looking at the video from last night and we found out the exact time I paid out the money. So we're watching the video, and we see me throw out the money! throw it in the garbage! So then all four of use go out to the dumpster and go through the garbage until we find it. I was so glad we found it! And thankfully my boss was really nice about it. It is kind of funny now. Yeesh, it would be bad if we hadn't found it.

So today is my last day of spring break. It kind of blowsss. But, I read 5 books, read a whole bunch, got some new clothes, and I just finished like half of my honors contract thing. So I did get a bunch done. But now I have a sick headache. Bah. And I can't take excedrin because then I'll never fall asleep. Ugh. I've gotta wake up early tomorrow. Not fun. Back to school tomorrow.

Rub my feet please?

Ughhhh. Last night was soooo tiring. When I first got there, Kate decided to tell me that since the Kum & Go people are forcing us to cut hours, she can't do everything in the kitchen anymore, so I have to do some more work. I'm totally ok with that, except for one thing. Like she said that she was telling me to do it because everyone knew it would get done if I was told to do it. Ok, this should make me feel good about myself, and it does, but I work the two busiest overnights in the week. And I mean, sometimes it's tough to get my regular work done. And they aren't telling the other overnight person to do it even though they should have enough time to do it. Hmf. It kind of annoys me. But whatever, I'll get it done because I'm desperate for the money. But I've realized something, I really don't care about it. Even though it does help me socialize, and I make money, if I didn't have to, I would not be working. But I do have to, so this is pointless. But onto the rest of the night, I go into the men's bathroom to clean it, to find that some one put loads of paper in the toilet and then shit on top of it. Way to fucking go asshole. It pissed me off so much. Not only that it was like that, but that no one told me about it. Ugh. It was so disgusting. Thank God for gloves.

But the rest of the night wasn't much better. It was so steady, like people just kept on coming in. I was ready to shut the doors. I was trying to get all my work done but it felt impossible. And what is really difficult is the card machine, because it only reads about a third of the cards people have, and then it makes me do the whole process like three times for it to work. It pisses me off, because the Kum & Go was able to buy new shitty coffee pots (that we have to refill every three hours, regardless of how much coffee we are throwing out), but they can't fix these machines. Ridiculous. But there were some good parts. One of the good parts was that I realized I'm not totally insane for not liking the other types of come-ons that I get. This one guy who was kinda nice started asking me if I had a boyfriend. I was thinking "Oh fuck no. Not this again." And I said no, and he asked why. And I said, "Well, I guess I just don't want one." This seems to be the magic answer. Because then he said something really nice, and I just wanted to hug him and thank him for not being a tool. He said something like that when I do want a boyfriend, that he knows that plenty of guys would like to date me because I'm a beautiful girl. Aw! It's not really true, because God knows that the day I start to want a boyfriend, no one will be interested, but it made me feel good. I mean he was high and drunk, so I can't put much stock in it, but it was still nice. And it made me realize that I don't have a problem with people hitting on me, I have a problem with the way those other guys do it. So that was an upside. And then there were some very funny drunk people. This girl I know from art classes came in and she was very drunk, and she had the hiccups. And her friend has this sort of yippy laughter. So every time she would hiccup, her friend would start with this laughter and the third friend would go crazy laughing at both of them. It was very funny.

But yea, that was pretty much my night. I got barely any homework done, which blows, but I'm gonna work on it now. I just want to lay in bed and let go of all my cares. Hmf. I am so ready for spring.

Numero dos.

Ok, so based on my last blog, it's obvious that I am not a thin girl. Pretty much the opposite. And I've been this way for quite a while, and before I was really big, I was a chubby middle-schooler who thought she was fat, so I had low self esteem and I was super shy. So guess how the fella's treated me...yea. Badly. Or as if I didn't exist. And I have grown very used to this. And it's nice here when guys are nice to me and talk to me. It's definitely an upside, because I don't feel like some sort of disgusting monster.

But......I'm not into this other thing going on. Recently at the Kum & Go, some guys have been hitting on me. And I am just not into it. Like it's gross and skeevy. And they are the guys that jut get the generic, "Hi, how are you?" bit. Like we don't even talk about anything. And then they go and start telling me things about their anatomy, and I turn bright red, because I am not used to this shit! And I don't know if I ever want to be used to a stranger coming up to me and telling me things like that. But there is this one guy in particular, and he came in with this other guy who hit on me before (weird that out of the total of 3 guys that hit on me, two of them hang out together...). And he started asking for my number. I was like, "No...sorry." And then they started asking why, like did I have a husband, or a boyfriend, etc. And I answered, and I said that I don't give my number out, and that I was sorry. And they kept on pestering me, and asking if I thought they were ugly and blah blah blah. And I was like no, I'm nonchalant. Because it's true, I really am nonchalant about most men at this junction in my life. And then they accused me of being scared, which I still don't understand. And then they try and guilt me by saying, as they leave, "Oh I see we just aren't good enough for you." What! Seriously? Leave me alone! Ugh, it annoyed me.

But now to what I want to say about this incident: Why am I a bitch for not giving them my number? Or why do I feel like a bitch? And why do they have the right to try and make me feel guilty? Like honestly, do they expect every girl to just up and give them their number so they can feel good about themselves? Do they not expect some rejection? Or do they just not expect rejection from a fat girl? It annoys me. And when I was talking to Bri about this, she told me to lie to them. But I don't want to lie. Why should I lie? I don't like lying, and I don't see the point in it. Man up, deal with the truth. Plus, I mean all they are expecting out of getting my number would be to get some, and to feel good about themselves for getting a number. And I'm not going to give them "some." So what is the point? And I'm not trying to be a dick here, but they aren't looking for friendship, and they aren't the type of guys I would want to be friends with anyway. I mean I guess some one might say, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but I'm cool with that. Like if I ever go up to a guy and asked for his number, I am fully ready for rejection, and I would just peace out if he said no. I would prefer honesty. And I didn't insult them, I told them that I wasn't looking for anything. So why can't they just take it? Why should I, as a woman, have to give my number out to some skeevy guys just to get rid of them? And how come if I don't give them my number, I become an uppity bitch? Or is that just because I wear glasses? Baha. No but really, I don't get it. Like, I try to be nice about it, I say sorry, and I give them a good reason. I just think it's fucked up, and just another double standard for guys and girls. If I went up to a fat guy and offered myself to him, he could easily say no, without any hassle, but just because I'm a fat girl, I'm supposed to be desperate, so I shouldn't say no to anyone. Ridiculous. It really really really bugs me. And the worst part is that when I get over my plateau and start to lose again, it will probably not get any better. Fuck. This blows. I'd rather go back to the days where no one hit on me, there was just fun and witty banter. Thats the type of flirting/come-ons I like, wittiness, and jokes. None of this I'm-gonna-pressure-you-into-giving-me-your-number-and-if-that-doesn't-work-I'll-insinuate-that-you-are-uppity. Bullshit dude. Bullshit.

the Kum&Go would be infinitely better if...

...I did not have to wear this uniform. Seriously, INFINITELY BETTER! It would just be so wonderful. But whatever. I have work at 3:30, so I'm gonna blog it up real quick. There are a few things on my mind. One of which is that they are remaking the movie Death at a Funeral, which is like a british comedy that was hilarious. But now, American film producers are crazy lazy and decided to remake it with black people, and the same midget. Oh, and the one creepy crazy guy in the movie is white. Way to go. But thats not my problem, I'm all for black people in movies, and I feel like if it was black British people, it wouldn't be as bad. But it's like Chris Rock, and Martin Lawrence. No. I am so upset. Like it's totally different types of humor, and the trailer just makes it seem baddd. I mean it might be a step up for Chris Rock and/or Martin Lawrence, whose films are usually sub-par in my opinion, but compared to the original? It's gonna be awful. I am not excited. I am also not excited for when loads of people see the new version and either rave about how great it is, or complain about how much it sucks. It will not be fun for me. Sad day.

Also, I wanted to talk about what art is. In my mass media class we read about this article that is claiming that how the media follows/covers celebrity is a form of art. And originally I was appalled. My brain just went "no" and shut that shit down! But then I started feeling like I was being snooty and maybe it was art. So I spent a lot of time over the weekend thinking about if it is art, and if it isn't, why isn't it? And I could not come up with a reason to say it wasn't art! I mean first I was thinking that since it's a human's life it isn't created. But then I realized that since the general population is not seeing the whole life of a celebrity, just a CONSTRUCTED view of it, it could be art. And now I think it is art. I mean it's a medium that people have to make seem interesting to the populace, and isn't that what artists do? It's mind boggling! I'm glad that I thought about this more, because I was feeling hoity-toity about it. But another thing I was thinking about is, what exactly qualifies as art? I mean anything can be art, just as long as it was constructed, I think? It doesn't mean it's good art, but it's still art. Like some one who designs cars is an artist, in my opinion. But then that makes an overflow of art. But that's a good thing right? Hm. It is a weird concept. Art. The dictionary says, Art= the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power. Hmm that sounds about right. And then that would mean that this paparazzi type of stuff is art! Crazy!

So besides that, not much is going on. My brain is getting fuzzy again and clouding stuff up. Annoying. It's like one of those things that is good and bad. Hmf. Another thing: I am afraid that I come off cold. Like I can talk to people for a while, and I can get the initial process off the ground. But then when it comes to the time when maybe I should go out of my way to talk to them, I clam up! When it's up to me to see if the relationship will become more than a pleasant acquaintance, I fuck it up. I just have no clue what to say sometimes. I am going to work hard on this. I also have a problem with being able to talk to people at the Kum & Go, but then not being able to talk to them at school or anywhere else. It's mad awk (in correct terms, it's very awkward baha). I need to work on this too, but again, I have no clue what to say. I'm just socially odd. I don't know. While I am at the Kum & Go today, I am going to try to formulate a plan! It might be an awful plan, and I might not execute said plan, but at least I am going to try to work it out. Bah. I have to work on this. My brain is too intense. It really should take a break sometimes and let me just do my thangggg.

I hope that today there are no weirdo's in. On saturday night there were soooo many. gross.

Kum & Go, Lamoni Style

Right so, I sometimes complain about the Kum & Go. That classy institution in which I hold a job. Well I would like to mention that it is not all bad! I mean besides the fact that on wet days I have to mop the floor a minimum of 3 times, and each time I do so it seems like people always come in right when I finish. But, besides that, there are some great perks. For example, I get to do a shit-ton of homework. And because I'm usually not distracted I understand it better than when I do it at home. And the best thing about the Kum & Go is that since I work on Friday and Saturday nights, I tend to get a bunch of fun and entertaining drunk kids in. It's a whole bunch of fun. Last night I had some kids that started dancing to the music the Valentines Day Rapper Man was popping out. It was truly hilarious. However, they said they were not drunk, but it was still fun. It's definitely a great thing. Also, I get free refills in my Kum & Go cup. Thats an upside. Even though I usually get water and water is free anyways. But that's ok, it's still good.