2011 goals

In my other blog, I always right down my goals and then I evaluate them when the year is up. I'm still going to do that, but I'll probably copy them here. So 2011 will be the second half of my senior year and my first half of my second senior year at Graceland. It will also be awesome. So here are my goals:

1. Weight loss: Again. And this time I'm not going to give myself a specific pound number to reach. I am just going to say that I want to continue working on being fit and that hopefully in a year I will be closer to my goal. Over the summer I want to get a bike and exercise with that. Right now I am at size 16 pants. If I can get down to 12 or even 13 by the end of the year, I will be happy.

2. Social: I want to continue befriending people. Specifically guys. I need to start being more confident around guys. I hope that in Spring semester, I will get to know a lot of people more.

3. School: I want to write some really great stuff for school. I need to start really writing well to get into graduate school. I want to apply to graduate schools and rock the GRE's. I want to do really well in my Vis Comm classes and I want to learn something new and interesting in Filmmaking.

4. Writing/The Tower: I want to begin working at the writing center, not only to beef up my resume, but also to get better at writing. I also want to really make The Tower better. We're starting the new layout this semester, and I hope to grab more people's attention.

5. Art: I need to have a solid idea for my art show. I want to rock the shit out of it.

That's pretty much it. I just want to continue doing what I've been doing. I'm really excited for 2011.

"When did I become a ghost?"

So like in a week in a half, I'm going to head back to Iowa. I am getting some furniture at IKEA tomorrow and I'm going to bring it back to Iowa for my apartment. It's gonna be awesome. I'm getting a new TV stand and probably a DVD holder. I might also get some plants and lights or something. I'm excited. I am probably going to work for the rest of my time here, so that should help me with bills and stuff for a while.

I'm actually really excited for school again. I miss it! I love school so much and I'm excited for my classes this semester. I know so many people in my classes and I'm psyched to be in class with these people. I am pretty sure that this semester will freaking rock.

Christmas time!

It's Christmas! Huzzah! I can't really breath since the dog's hair is giving me allergies. I wish I could breath. So I've had a pretty good break so far. On Saturday after I got home we went to see Black Swan, which was SO good. I need to see it again before it leaves theaters. Then on Sunday I just kinda relaxed. On Monday mommy and I went to Kohls and she bought me some nifty clothes! Yey. On Tuesday I worked at the deli for a while, which is good because I need the money! Then on Wednesday I worked again from 9-5! On Thursday Cat and I went to the city! We went and say the big tree which was so awesome because we got to see 30 Rock! I mean I probably stepped somewhere Tina Fey stepped!!! Ahhh it was so so so cool. Then we went to the MoMA, or the Museum of Modern Art for a while, and even better we got in free! We'll probably go again before I leave to spend more time there. I bought some art books and some notebooks there. It was so cool. Then Cat and I went to Mt. Ivy to get some lunch. I got a grilled cheese, yummy! Then Cat and I went to Liquid Glass, the bong/bowl store! I got the most beautiful color-changing bong. I'm calling her Maude. She is perfection. I can't wait to take a hit out of her. Then we came home and chilled.

On Friday I worked again for like 4 hours. I then began to feel really sick, so I took a super long nap. YEY NAPS!

And today, is Saturday, or Christmas!!! I love Christmas! I woke up to find a garbage bin full of gifts and irish candies! Yummy. Then we watched some T.V. and relaxed. We had some brekky and then we got to open GIFTS! GIFTS! Awesome. So I got my new phone from momma, the Droid Incredible! I got a Lady Gaga shirt and a Lady Gaga calender from Bri. Bri also got me a Lady Gaga poster and a Clockwork Orange poster. Cat got me a Roku box which will be so cool because now I get to watch my Hulu and my Netflix on my big TV! I'm so excited. Then Mono got me a bike lock for when I get my bike, he also got me Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, and a Kid Cudi shirt and a Death Cab for Cutie shirt. He also got me a $5 gift card from Best Buy. I got myself some nice india ink markers and Hot Chick. I'm really happy with all my gifts. I can't wait to set up my Roku box! And to hang up my posters! It was a good Christmas.

Priorities.

Ok, so I need to get my priorities back in check. I need to make a big move on this losing weight thing. Like honestly, I feel good enough about myself to make this shit happen, so I'm going to make it happen. First thing I'm going to do, is get lipo. Haha, just kidding. Really, first thing I'm going to do is stop taking birth control. I've been thinking about it, and I've really been having problems losing since august, and that's about when I began taking my birth control. I'd truly rather have bad cramps that not be able to lose weight. I'm also really going to get consistent on my work outs. I want to fit more comfortable into my size 16 pants by the time I go back to school. So everyday I think I will start doing sit ups, and four to five times a week I'll do cardio for about an hour. Hopefully this stuff mixed with the no birth control will help me get back into my groove.

Honestly, I just want to get back into the losing weight game, I want to feel confident in myself because I know I'm losing. I am going to get this straight.

Harrumphh awkwardness.

I hate how awkward I can be sometimes. Grrr.

Finals Week

Finals Week fucking blows. All I wanna do is go out and get fucked up, but all my friends have to do homework. Ridiculous.

Nicki and Kanye and Cudi

Ok, I'm on this huge rap-kick, and I've been listening to Kanye, Nicki, and Cudi like crazy. I like it a lot.

I've also been doing really kickass at life. Like I finished my honors paper, I wrote most of my final papers, and I am just rocking this semester out. Well except for stupid-dumb honors humanities. I hate that class. But I'm going to really beast my systems final, same with my advanced comp final, and everything else basically. I'm excited. And next semester I'm going to have an awesome schedule, and I feel like I'm going to have a lot of really cool people in my classes. It's basically just going to be super.

But, I have to do this presentation for Honors Humanities, and I have no clue what I'm doing. It's crazy. I am not psyched.

Dear Guy:

I would really like to fuck you. And touch your facial hair. And listen to really great music while doing so. Ok, thanks.

Sincerely,

Liz Deegan

Bad Day

I really wish some one would stop mentioning last year and just how shitty Thanksgiving was. I don't want to think about it, stop bringing it up.

I also really wish I knew what I was doing with these papers. I feel like I'm drowning in information and I have no clue how to write it. I don't know how to organize it, I don't know what style to write it in. I am just freaking drowning right now. I have a ten page paper, a 25 page paper, and so much more. Like I know my Thanksgiving break will be spent knee deep in feminist theory.

I'm just wrecked.

The Tower

I love working on the tower, but this week it's been a hassle. I had to write six articles, and every one else handed in shit. And then, this week, of all the fucking weeks, people start bitching about the Tower. Like, one guy texted Melissa and bitched about my EDITORIAL on Choices. And then some chick and loads of other people on her facebook start bitching about how we're not writing about stuff. Ok, there are six writers total on the staff, and most of those people write one thing or less each week. So, yea we might not be able to write about all the things we should write about, but what the hell can you expect when there are only two writers who are really trying? I'm just getting pissed off, because I feel like I put so much work into it, but people only talk about it when they are complaining. Don't like my article on Choices? Great, I don't really care, because it wasn't meant to offend people, it wasn't meant to hate on people who like Choices, it was meant to be funny. I mean it's an editorial, it's not meant to be straight up news, it has an opinion. And yes, I don't like Choices, and yes, I think it looks like a pedophile's basement. So what? It's not like I didn't talk about the good parts of Choices, I just stated that it wasn't for me, because in my opinion it has a creepy atmosphere and I don't enjoy the things that happen there.

I'm just annoyed, because I don't take other people's opinions to heart, I just deal with them. I truly feel like we are doing everything we can to make The Tower work, it's just difficult when people don't give a shit about it. I'm just tired. I want to smoke a blunt an watch a movie.

Harrumph

I love how the one day I actually need to vent, my mom sounds bored and once I pause she begins telling me everything about her life.

Kid Cudi

Love the new album so hard. I am really happy with it. Also, I'm getting to design and make my own cd, kind of like a mix cd, but we're pretending that it is one band. So I'm making this mix of like indie songs and rap and hip hop songs, and also some pop songs. It's awesome so far. I'm actually really excited about it. And I'm going to try and do a hand-drawn thing, which might be rough, but it will hopefully look awesome. It's just gonna rock.

Chicago Trip

So this past weekend I went to Chicago with the Art group! It was honestly so much fun. I got to hang out with some new people, and get to know others better. We went to different museums and the SOFA exhibit. It was so cool, like there was so much art that just astonished me. Also, we walked EVERYWHERE! So like not only did I get to see more of the city, I also got a shit ton of exercise. And I got to eat some good food. Mmm yummy. It was awesome.

On Thursday I'm going to Kansas City. Yeesh I'm a busy gal.

Hoo-rah!

I got an A on my story! Yesss! I am so happy. I mean I know I need to fix some things, but a 90 is like perfection as of now. Plus I also found out how to fix my short story, which is even better! I love creative writing!

Mmmm.

This week has been really good so far. Finding out some good new about people, getting in trouble with the law with Christy, chilling with Melissa, getting high on a Monday night. Today might break or make it. I'm probably going to get my 15 page story back and I'm super nervous. Also we are going over my short story in class today. Alack. Today could go very badly. I hope things continue in the fashion of yesterday.

I love this song, and Bo Burnham

Summer Time

I have no clue what I'm doing for summer. Internship? Work on Art show? Work on writing? Go back to New York? Go somewhere else? Stay in Lamoni?

I literally do not know. It's kind of been bugging me recently. Like its so open. I mean I don't want to be doing so much because I need to get my art show stuff done and I need to write. But I don't want to just sit around and spend money. I mean I feel like I should have a job for the summer. I don't know, I don't want to go back to New York for the whole summer. I just need to figure it out.

I'm really not trying to be a jerk....

...but, I just love it when my mom tells me to take a break and relax and watch a movie, but then tells me like thirty different stories.

I love her like crazy, but sometimes she talks my ear off!

Fall Break

I haven't posted in a while. Fall Break is over and I'm half sad and half happy. I'm sad because I didn't get nearly enough work done, and I still don't feel good about my story. I'm happy because I get to go back to school and see ma friends. Fun times. But next monday I have to present my Senior Honors Seminar thing. I am not psyched. I was supposed to work on that this weekend, but I got bogged up doing my story and another essay. And next weekend I have to do a 6-8 page paper for Honors Humanities. Sheesh. And Friday I'm going to Kansas City with the Art in the City kids. That should be fun. But that also means I'll probably go partying that night. So Saturday and Sunday I'm gonna have to buckle down and get shit done. I am not that happy. But really, I did a shit tone of work over the summer, I should be pretty good. I want to add some Susan Bordo though. And maybe some biology. Urgh. But on the plus side, I have a pretty good group of people that signed up for mine. So I should be pretty ok. Or at least I hope. I don't know.

Plus, I have to write all my newspaper pieces. But I think I'll get the first two done super easy. I am so pumped about this issue. I am writing some really awesome pieces. I get to come up with the top ten scary movies to watch in Halloween season, and I am writing a piece on being against the idea that Halloween is an excuse for girls to dress sexy. And then I'm doing some editorial about a guy that won the Nobel Peace Prize in China and he has been locked up and the media has totally repressed it. Crazy! I'm stoked.

I'm also going to get my third tattoo soon. I am so freaking pumped. So pumped. It's gonna be awesome!

Officially Triple-Majoring

So a few days ago I finally signed up for my third major. I was working on the above magazine spread and I realized that I'm pretty good at Vis Comm. So I decided I had to do it. And now I'm triple majoring. I'm so excited. I think it will be good.

Besides that, this weekend is Fall Break, which means I have no class on Monday and Tuesday! Thank goodness! I have a lot of work to do. And I have quite a bit of weed to smoke. Haha. But really though, I have to fix and perfect my presentation, I have to fix my story, and I have to write another paper. And of course there are other things I have to do too. Yeesh. I'm excited though. It's going to be awesome.

Feeling great!

Ok, so I have been busting my balls over this 10-15 page story that I've had to write for Creative Writing. I've been working on it steady since saturday. And It's been freaking me out because I hate writing things that don't represent how my brain is working. So I've been really working hard, working and reworking it. And I've been nervous because I knew it was going to be critiqued by BWhite and the whole class. So all day I've been freaking out, nervous stomach aches, clammy hands, the works. I finally get to class, and of course, I get to go last. By the time it was my turn, my hands were ice cold, but so clammy, and I was shaking.

So they begin talking about it. Not much is being said. And most of it is good stuff. I was so freaking confused. I was sure that I would get so many comments about how to make it better. But really, I got a few things to work on, but mostly I got a lot of really good comments! I feel so freaking good! After class, Bwhite was giving out his copies of the stories with his notes on them. So I go up, hoping there's something else to work on. So I say to him "You have notes? Can I have them?" And he goes, "Well you can have this, but there's nothing written on it." I'm like "What? Are you serious?" And he said "Yea, I already told you what I thought, there isn't much else." I said "Really? Nothing?" Then he said he'd look over it some more if I wanted, and I said yes and asked him to have it by Monday. Haha. But really, it was awesome! I mean compared to every one else, my story was the best. Like I maybe got two comments on things to change. It feels really good. I am so happy and relieved about it.

Mmm New Life

Ok, I am making a conscious effort to not be a robot-human anymore. That means I'm going to try to look intimidatingly attractive boys in the eye, and not be super awkward. I'm also going to try and have conversations with people. This might be rough. It's especially rough because the one person I want to be a non-robot-human with doesn't show up to class. Harrumph. Watch, the one day that I'm not prepared to be a non-robot-human, he'll show up to class and I'll be all wonky.

Besides this goal, I have gotten back up on the exercise horse. Last week I was bad, but I'm back to normal and loving it. Hopefully by the time Christmas comes around I'll be down a size.

I'm trying to decide if I should drive home for Thanksgiving. I think I will just see how much homework I get.

Procrastinating

I like people that are like really tough mathematic equations. Mathematic equations that take a lot of work to break down, equations that spring surprises at you. I feel like the people I will like for life will be mathematic equations that I can't solve.

Oh boyyy.

I spent the better part of my morning trying to scrub out the stench of vomit out of my bathroom. That was...umm...interesting. Last night after Airband, I hung out upstairs with my neighbors and other people. I got drunk really easily, and then I came back downstairs. I threw up like 4 times. All over myself and the bathroom. Mad gross. But it is finally clean! And it doesn't smell anymore. And now that I have that whole hangover experience done, I can just go back to not drinking as much. Tonight I'm having some people over. I'm kind of excited, but not really.

"Lives don't change, we simply become more comfortable with our core misery, which is a form of happiness" - Bored to Death

Liz Deegan "might enjoy looking at sexy, well-hung young men who don't appear to be about to rape them."

I'm reading Susan Bordo's "Beauty (Re)discovers the Male Body" I love this woman. She is so freaking cool.

Whew, Tower #2 out!

This week has been freaking crazy! It's Homecoming week and I've been trying to be as involved as possible. Haha, it's been fun. But it has also been really tiring so far. Like every night I've went to bed early. And earlier in the week I was sick so I couldn't even go to the gym. It was bad. But now I'm better and I'm getting back on track.

On Sunday I was up late hanging out with Melissa and Angie, and that was so much fun. Then Monday I stayed up late doing Tower stuff and homework. On Tuesday night I stayed up late watching dodgeball. Yesterday I stayed up late doing Tower stuff again and homework as well. And I don't know about tonight.

Today I drove to Creston again to pick up the papers. Then I went out to dinner with the Shalom girls for Melissa's birthday. It was so much fun! I think I'm going to change my house and be in Shalom. I love those kids!

Also today we had a sort of competition in Creative Writing about our first sentences. And I came in third! I was really happy about it. I just need to have more time to come up with better stuff. We have to write a ten page draft this weekend. It's gonna be roughhh. I don't really know what I'm going to write yet. I mean the sentence the class liked wasn't one of my favorites, but I might use it. I don't know yet. Hopefully I can get some ideas soon.

Besides that, not much has been going on. I am hoping to go to some parties this weekend, which will be awesome. Plus there is Airband and Homecoming game too! Crazy weeeeek.

The First Tower Issue

Yesterday, Melissa, Angie and I drove to Creston to pick up the fist issue of the Tower. I felt so proud. Like it's the first time I ever wrote for a paper, and I got to do a kick ass editorial about Don't Ask Don't Tell. And Melissa says she thinks it was one of the best of the issue, which makes me super happy. I've decided that I am going to fight to be in charge next year. Like I already have most of the programming down, and I am not a terrible writer. I just feel so excited. Like I actually helped make something real. It's so awesome. I hope people actually begin to read it.

Day 12

Day 12- I am quitting this challenge.

This challenge blows. I'm done with it. I'm just going to update and write whatever I want. I'm sooo done with this dumb challenge.

Day 11/Update

Day 11- Tell me about your life right now

Ok, originally this was something stupid. Like "leave a question in my askbox." I have no clue what that is, and I don't want to know. So I am going to update on my life, because a lot of stuff has happened. So, I am finally done with the Kum&Go. I have been done since last Thursday. It feels really great. But part of me really feels like its just a vacation. But anyways, I love it. So, then on Friday we went to Chicago. It was sooo awesome. On friday night we went out to eat, I ate with Matthew, Melissa, Nicole, and Emily. Then we went to see Romeo and Juliet. I'm not a big fan of that play, so I kind of laughed about it more than anything. After that I talked about it a lot with Kia and Maddie, and that was fun. Then we went back to the dorms and a group of us played Apples to Apples, which was super fun. I had a blast. On Saturday we went to the Aquarium. I hung out with a whole bunch of kids, and it was awesome. There was a show, which was kind of really lame, but also really funny and we had fun at it. Then after that we went to downtown Chicago. We went for lunch at Chipotle, which was SO good. Oh man. So so good. Then some of us wanted to go to Forever 21, so we went, but it was kind of dumb because barely anyone got anything. And we had to like run back to the bus and we were still late! So silly. Then we went back to the dorms, and got changed and whatever. After that we had dinner at this fancy place. I sat at the table with Maddie, Danica, Kia, Melissa, and two other people I don't know. Dinner was so funny. We were all talking and we just had so much fun. It was awesome. And then we went to see Candide, which was AWESOME! I laughed so much. It was amazing. And then we drove back on sunday morning. It was a really good weekend.

So now, this friday I'm going to Des Moines with the art kids, which will also be fun. Basically everything is good! I've been having a lot of fun!

Day 10

Day 10- What is your favorite website aside from Tumblr? Why?

Um. Probably Facebook or Amazon. I LOVE amazon. I can buy books!

Some of these questions are kinda lame...

Day 9

Day 9- If your house caught on fire what would be the most important things for you to save?

Ok, well if it was back in New York, my family. But here in Iowa, that's a different story. Hmm. Definitely my laptop. I would be so lost if I didn't have it anymore. Like it has all my music, all my pictures, all my homework and so much more on it. It would be the first thing I would grab.

Day 8

Day 8- Rant to me. About your family. Your friends. Your friend. A celebrity. A schoolmate. A tv show. Anything.

Hmm. I just got back from Chicago, I just left my shitty job, I just made a bunch of new friends. I really don't need to rant about anything. I suck. I'm sorry.

Day 7 (Saturday)

Day 7- Show me a picture of you and the person you feel closest to at this time?

Um...I'm not really sure. I don't feel closer to any person. Like most people who are my friends are pretty much at the same level. I don't know.

Day 6

Day 6- What’s your guilty pleasure tv show, food, and magazine?

Ok, I have a few guilty pleasures. Like for TV shows, any sort of chick show that I watch is a guilty pleasure, like Grey's Anatomy. A food? Hmmm. Probably any sort of burger, because I know they are soooo bad for me, but sometimes I just gotta be bad! haha. And any of the Star or Us crappy gossip magazines are a guilty pleasure. I don't even know if I'd call them a pleasure, usually I look at them to make fun of them. But all the same....

I'm off to Chicago this morning! Super duper excited!!! I hope this weekend is super kick ass.

Day 5

Day 5- Name your favorite sport and how you became interested in it. If you don’t like sports, tell us why :)

I've never really like sports. I mean I like Badminton and stuff, but I don't really like any sport enough to play it. I used to dislike sports because I was self-conscious and I didn't want to be seen running around a soccer field or basketball court. But now I am not into them just because my interests lie elsewhere. Sorry sports!

Day 4

Day 4- Please state your Hogwart’s House, your favorite spell, your patronus, your boggart, and your favorite book in the series :)

Hahah, I am going to like this challenge!! Ok, so I think I would be in Hufflepuff. I'm not as driven or smart as Ravenclaws, I'm not a bitch like Slytherins, and I'm not brave and fearless like Gryffindors. Hufflepuffs are kind of like the happy kids who don't worry too much, but do well. I think I'm content like the Hufflepuffs.

My favorite spell would probably be Accio, because being able to summon stuff would be super sick nasty. Like, oops, I forgot my textbook, Accio textbook! And bam, I got it.

My patronous...hmmm I have not thought about this before. Maybe a wolf or something solitary. Or a zebra?!? Haha i don't know.

My Boggart. Oooh scary. I think my boggart would be the deep numbness I used to feel a lot, and going back to the point in my life where I wasn't a happy person.

My favorite book was definitely Prisoner of Azkaban. I loved the crap out of that book, but the last book was super nifty too, even though so many people died :[

Ooh la la, harry potter!

Day 60

Day 60- What you learned from doing this challenge

Hmmm. I don't know if I really learned anything. But it was nice to write about things I usually don't write about.

I'm sad this challenge is over :[

Day 3

Day 3- A picture and/or description of your favorite place in your world. And I’m not talking about like France or Greece. I’m talking somewhere you visit daily or atleast fairly often

My Iowa bedroom is like my favorite place these days. Sleep is so nice.

Day 59

Day 59- What you live for

Hmmm. I live for everything. I live for the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. I live for my opinions, I live for my goals. I live for everything there is to live for.

Day 58

Day 58- A moment you remember being completely happy in and a description of why you believe you were. What is your definition of happiness?

Hmm. There was this one morning where I was walking, and it wasn't too hot or cold out. There was a really nice breeze in the air. I was listening to Au Revior Simone. And I was just noticing how beautiful the world is. The sun was shining through the clouds in that way that looks magical. And I just remember feeling so at peace, and so content. I think I felt that way because things just felt right.

My definition of happiness is being content. Being content in who you are, what you have done and how you have lived. It doesn't mean you've loved every second of your live, or that you are happy with every decision you've ever made. It means being ok with it all, and being ok with the world. It's not this super-duper ecstatic thing, it's calm, it's content.

Day 2

Day 2- A picture of your celebrity crush and 5 things you would do to/with them, no questions asked.

Ok, so after watching Inception last night, I want to do lots of stuff to this guy right here. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Mmmmm.

1. I would watch him swim.
2. I would go walking with him
3. I would watch a movie with him and cuddle on my couch
4. I would do a lot of bad things that I will not specify!
5. I would get drunkkkk with him.

Yummy.

Day 1

Day 1- Your name and 5 things about you no one really knows

Elizabeth Marie Deegan

1. I don't think I'll ever get married

2. I don't think I've ever been in love and I'm not sure its possible

3. I don't really mind being single

4. Even though I try really hard not to, I have a lot of trust issues with men

5. I think my biggest goal in life is to be able to buy my own home.

New Challenge!!

So desi-poo and I are really sad that the 60-day challenge is ending. So she found some new ones, and I like this one. Or most of it anyway. So I'll probably start today just because!

1st challenge :]

1. Your name and 5 things about you that no one really knows
2. A picture of one of your celebrity crushes and 5 things you would do with/to them. No questions asked.
3. A picture and/or description of your favorite place in your world. And I’m not talking about like France or Greece. I’m talking somewhere you visit daily or atleast fairly often.
4. Please state your Hogwart’s House, your favorite spell, your patronus, your boggart, and your favorite book in the series :)
5. Name your favorite sport and how you became interested in it. If you don’t like sports, tell us why :)
6. What’s your guilty pleasure tv show, food, and magazine?
7. Show me a picture of you and the person you feel closest to at this time?
8. Rant to me. About your family. Your friends. Your friend. A celebrity. A schoolmate. A tv show. Anything.
9. If your house caught on fire what would be the most important things for you to save?
10. What is your favorite website aside from Tumblr? Why?
11. Leave a secret in my askbox :)
12. Show me the first and last gif in your gif folder. Along with your favorite gif of all time or just from right now :)
13. What is your favorite book (aside from Harry Potter :))?
14. Show me a picture of your dream car.
15. If you were to get a tattoo what would it be of, where would it be, and why would you get it?
16. Name another celebrity crush and what would you say to them if you only had 30 seconds to talk to them while knowing you’d never see them again.
17. Show me a picture of your dream house.
18. If your ipod was to lose all but 5 songs with no chance of getting any other songs back onto it, what would you hope those songs would be?
19. What are you craving to eat right now?
20. Show me a picture of you smiling :)
21. Post a picture of one thing you would buy if you had more than enough money to do so?
22. Who in your family are you the closest to? Why?
23. If you could have any pet regardless of what it is, what would you want?
24. Show me a picture of yourself that you think you look good in :)
25. What do you think your future looks like right now?
26. List all of the things that make you smile/happier than anything else in the world/feel the best.
27. What are your favorite lyrics from a song played by your favorite band/singer/artist?
28. Who inspires you the most? Be it based on personality, style, or what they’ve accomplished in life. Feel free to list more than one :)
29. Why did you choose your current profile picture/icon?
30. Why did you do this challenge? Did you like it?

Confucius and Tao Te Ching

Confucius

"...Shall I teach you what wisdom means? To know what you know and know what you do not know- this is wisdom."

"Exemplary persons seek harmony, not sameness; petty persons, then, are the opposite"

Tao Te Ching

"Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place."

"Express yourself completely, then keep quiet."

These are from my Honors Humanities class. I like them a lot. I kind of want to read some more!

Day 57

Day 57- Your definition of the meaning of life

Well...I don't know if I really think there is a bigger meaning of life. I mean I think life is for living, for trying to make yourself as happy as you can be, and for accepting the bad with the good. I personally don't really care if there is an afterlife, or if there is a bigger meaning or whatnot. I just know that for me, life is here, we all have our choices and we all have to learn how to deal with them.

11 Days left

I have about 11 days left at the Kum&Go. And honestly, I wish it was less. I am so ready to start all these new things, but I can't until I'm done there. It's just stressing me out. I want to be done now, but I still have all these shifts to go.

I mean I have all these other awesome things to do. Like work for BWhite, which has been fun so far. And Melissa just asked me to be Assistant Editor of the paper, which is super awesome. Plus, I want to hang with my friends. And I will when I am done at the Kum&Go. I am just so excited to be out of there.

Tomorrow night is my last overnight, and I can't wait for it to be over. I have work today, and it's going to blow, but I'll deal. Only 11 days. 11 days. ugh

Day 56

Day 56- Your definition of love

Wow, this is a deep one! Hmm. Let me think. Well there are a lot of types of loves. Like the type of love I have for my family would definitely be different from the type of love I would have for a man. But I'll explain the type of love for a man. So I think love is all about understanding. I mean, we are all different people, and for the most part we don't want to be with people that are 99% like us. So to love some one like that is to accept their differences. And to accept their individuality. Love is about having some one you can trust and some one you can rely on, but having that same person being ok with the fact that you have your own wants and needs. Love is about companionship. I mean obviously there has to be attraction, but without companionship, attraction doesn't last. Love doesn't mean loving some one unconditionally, and it doesn't mean loving everything about a person. It's about what you do with the aspects you don't like. It's about combining two lives even if they don't fit perfectly. It's about wanting to be together and learning new things about each other and knowing each other. Mostly, I think love is being able to be around some one and not having to talk or constantly be entertained, it's about being around some one and being satisfied.

I don't know. I can't really explain love. It's really just a shot in a barrel. If you find the right person, no one is to say that they will be the right person forever. But that's ok, because if it isn't anything else, love can be fleeting.

Day 55

Day 55- Something you would do if you knew no one would stop you or if you knew you wouldn't fail

I'd spend my life writing. I wouldn't worry about getting a real job, I would just write and go to school. I wouldn't worry about not doing well or being poor, I would just do it. That would be so nice.

I can't believe I'm almost done with this challenge! It's kind of sad!

Day 54

Day 54- Something you did as a child that everyone remembered you for

Well I don't think I did anything in particular that people remembered me for. Like there are things that I did that my family make fun of me for, but it's nothing people would remember me for. But, I did have something that people remembered me by. When I was younger my hair used to be a bit lighter and it was so curly that I basically had a white girl afro. It wasn't really a tight sort of afro, but it did look a bit like an afro. And everyone would always ask me where I got my curls from, and I would almost always respond with "From God's pocket." Yea, I was a lame kid.

Day 53

Day 53- Most awkward first impression you felt you've ever given

Hmm. I'm not really sure about this one. Like I don't know if I ever really come off at awkward in first impressions. I mean sometimes I come off as nonchalant or shy. And then if some one meets me first when I'm around friends then they will probably have the first impression of me as being funny, loud, and maybe a little bit obnoxious. I don't know if it's ever really awkward. I mean I don't know, because I imagine if it was really awkward I probably don't talk to those people anymore and it doesn't really matter to me.

Day 52

Day 52- Some one you would give your life for without question

Um pretty much any member of my immediate family. Like, Mono, Cat, Bri or my mom. I would do it without hesitation.

Day 51

Day 51- Your favorite medium of art

I recently had to answer this question for Art History. I really like Printmaking, but I also love mixed media stuff. I'm really into putting different things together to make one cohesive piece. And printmaking always looks so real to me...if that makes any sense. I like art that really takes work, like carving wood or searching to find the perfect part for your piece. When I do art like that I always feel so much more accomplished.

Day 50

Day 50- A Band you immediately liked and the song that made you like them.

Ok, so I think one band I immediately liked was Brand New. And I feel like they are one band that I feel like really grew with me. The song I heard that made me like them was Seventy times 7. And I probably liked it because I was feeling pretty angsty those days, and it's a pretty angsty song. And then my love for them continued with Deja Entendu. And again with The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me, and finally with Daisy. Each album is so different from the previous one, and I feel like each one fits me at the point it comes out. So good.

Revelations.

Ok, so as I wrote before, I put in my notice for the Kum&Go. And for a while afterwards I felt really awful about it. And I also felt nervous. But now, time has passed, and things are looking so freaking amazing. So this weekend has given me a bit of a taste of how nice it will be to not work at the Kum&Go.

On Friday night I was invited to Christy's for dinner. I went and it was a lot of fun. It was really nice to just sit around, eat good food and talk to people my age. Like it just felt right.

And on Saturday, I wasn't planning on doing anything, but I actually had quite an eventful day! So I got up and did a whole bunch of homework. At like 1:15pm, Ali texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to the Civil War reenactment. I was all like "Heck yes!!" So at 2, we headed to the Civil War Days with a group of really great people. We walked around and looked at a lot of different old-timey things. Then at 3, there was a reenactment of a battle that took place near Lamoni. The cannons were soooo loud! And I was rooting so hard for the Yankees, but they lost. So sad. Haha, and then I got a ride back to the coffee shop and I went home. After that, I had to drop a book off to Chelsea Tobin for class. I ended up staying and talking to her for like 2 hours! It was awesome though. I feel like she and I always have really good conversations. I am really hoping we hang out a butt-load this semester!

So that has just been two days, and I feel like I am already meeting loads of new people and having so much more fun. I love it here, and I love so many of the people!

Also, I have been talking with people about my decision, and I found out that Barb Mesle, one of my English professors, and Kia were talking about how I really should leave the Kum&Go, even before I decided to. And a lot of people seem really happy for me. It really feels great to have like affirmation that I did the right thing. It is just starting to all fall into place. I feel really good about this.

I also realized that I will probably be able to work out more. Like I will be more rested and I will have more time to finish homework, so I will be able to work out a lot more. This is really awesome. I mean originally I thought I wouldn't really work out on weekends, but I think I will probably want to when I finish working at the K&G. I mean even if it's just walking, it will be that little bit more. I'm just really excited.

After these few days I've realized I did make the best possible choice. It's going to be great.

Day 49

Day 49- A passage from a book that has touched you

Hmf. I feel like I write about this all the time. But recently one quote from Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison has been in my brain. It's "You're not a serious person." I know that doesn't sound like much, but in the context of the book it was a lot. Like it's all about taking yourself and the world around you seriously. It's about taking all things into consideration. And I strive to be that way. For some reason that sentence just hit a chord with me.

The countdown begins.

So I gave my notice to the Kum&Go today. I feel really bad about it. I really really do. Like I know that it is the best thing for me to do, but I still feel awful about it. And I won't lie, part of me does feel good about it, because I don't really want to work there anymore. But mostly right now, I feel bad. I told Carolyn that I would work for three more weeks to help her out. I mean really, I am doing as much as I can. I'm probably doing more than I can. Now all I'm dreading is dealing with everyone else at the Kum&Go and having to justify myself to them. But honestly, what the fuck ever. Like it's not like I'm quitting this job to spend all my time doing nothing. Overall, I'm happy with my decision. I just hope that they are able to find some one before I go.

Day 48

Day 48- A picture that makes you feel

Way to be vague! But, this picture does make me feel....it makes me feel horny! Bahahahahaha

Just in case you were ever wondering what it is like to have the best mom...

"Quit the Kum&Go and live your dreams!!!"

-Momma Deegan

Day 47

Day 47- What you want to be remembered for

Even though I sincerely doubt I will be remembered for all that long, I guess I'd like to be remembered for my interactions with people. I guess how I treat people, how I make them laugh. Or whatever. I don't really know. I'm not really too bothered about being remembered.

So frustrated.

I am still not sure about this decision. Like I'm definitely going to do the student worker thing. But what I can't decide is the whole quitting-the-Kum-&-Go thing. Like half of me really wants to do it. I mean this week has been really tiring and I only have had 3 shifts and two days of class. I mean I doubt the weeks where I am away for the weekends will be easy. And I mean there are a lot of papers I have to write this semester.

But then there is the part of me that is a ridiculous work-aholic. Like I don't want to make things easy for myself. I know I could do it all, and that's the problem. I am having trouble cutting ties fully at the Kum&Go.

As Cat said, "And I understand your thinking because we're irish catholic with a workaholic father who only believed in making EVERYTHING hard." And it's so much a part of me. Like I'm so used to making things difficult for myself. But you know what, I don't want to be my father. I don't want to work my life away. I have to do this. I need to break this shit off.

Day 46

Day 46- Something you want to do in the next five years

There's a lot of stuff I want to do in the next five years. Firstly, I want to get down to a weight that I'm happy with. I want to graduate college, maybe even get a masters degree. I want to get a real job that I like. And there's not much more after all of that. Those are mostly my goals. Oh maybe pay off a bit of my student loans.

I can't believe it's day 46 already! Crazy!

Arghhh

Ok, so I have like a million things to write about, but I don't know how much I'll get done because I have work at 4. So first I'll go through my classes for today

Advanced Comp Honors: B.White class. Chelsea Tobin is in it, so is Kia, Emily Rose, Micah, and loads of other cool kids. It's a lot about revision and fixing our work. I'm nervous and excited about this. I am not usually big on revision, but I hope this class will get me more into it. We have like 4 papers to write. The final one is going to be like 10 pages. I'm thinking about writing about the Socialization of Youth into Gender Roles. Seems exciting!

Art History I: Julia Franklin class! I love Julia Franklin. She's a cool customer. I was originally not too excited because I didn't think I would know anyone in this class, but I was SO wrong! Ali Thomas is in my class, so is Sarah, and loads of other people. I feel like it's going to be super fun! Plus, J.Franklin gave us all crayons! So cool.

Creative Writing Fiction: Another B.White class. Cori, Corienne, Sarah, and so many more are in this class. I am nervous, because this class is going to be intense. But I'm also really stoked, because I can already tell that I am going to benefit from this class SO much.

So those were my classes. I'm pretty excited about all of them. I think it will be an awesome semester. But now, I have decisions to make.

Ok, so after my first B.White class, B asked me to wait after class so he could ask me a question. I assumed it would be about the Tower. So I hung around, blah blah. So then he asks me if I want to be his work study! What! Like I am still shocked. I mean, I'm flattered that I was thought of, and to be honest there is no way I'm going to say no, but I do have thinking to do. He says it will only be about 3-5 hours a week, which isn't bad. But if I'm thinking about the weeks where I'm going away for Art in the City, I'm thinking it will be rough. Plus, I mean I HAVE promised myself a social life this semester. So I was thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it. And I realize, there is no way this thing is taking me from my social life, something else is taking me from my social life. That thing is the Kum & Go. I mean honestly, today if I wasn't working, I would be out to lunch with Ali right now, and probably going to the Volleyball game later for Chelsea. But, instead, I am going to work. I don't know. I mean really I know I shouldn't quit, but I really want to. Like I'm in college. I'm sick of passing up awesome friend-time to go to a shitty job. And plus, if I were to leave, I have an awesome reason, I'm going to be B.White's work study! I don't know. I think I'm going to work it out in my brain while I'm at work today and try and make my decision.

I mean, I move 19 hours away from home to come to school here. I left everything I knew to have the college experience. I deserve this right?

Back to school!

Today I go back to school! I am so excited!!!!

Day 45

Day 45- A moment, song, or phrase that has changed your life the most

Ok, so it isn't a song or a phrase, kind of a moment, but not really. It's a movie. So, I was knee deep in my depression...more like neck deep haha...and one evening I sat down to watch this movie. And this movie just made me realize something. It made me realize that we all go through crap, obviously some have it worse than others. And that the crap we go through shouldn't stop us from living our lives. I mean in the movie, this man goes through the Holocaust, he is basically skin and bones, but he pushes for his right to live his life, he survives. It is utterly amazing. And truly, it gave me inspiration. Watching this movie was the turning point in my life where I decided I wasn't going to sit idly by and let my depression take over my life. I know it might sound silly to others, but this movie really did change me. And it probably didn't exactly help my infatuation with the Jewish culture. I mean all the Jewish people were able to conquer such hate (I mean obviously too many died, but I mean the ones that did survive). Like I don't meet many Jewish people who hate every single German person. I don't see as much hatred and resentment from Jewish people. And I think that's also a big part of it. People will wrong you, but you just have to move on and live your life. That's what this movie made me realize, and it really did help me turn myself around.

Day 44

Day 44- Best Mash Up you've ever heard

Hmm, well when I heard this one on Glee, I was like sheeeeeyat!

But then before I even saw Des's I was thinking about this one too

But I like the Glee one better I think. So niceee

Day 43

Day 43- A memory that never fails to make you laugh

Hmmm. I don't know if I have a memory like that. I'm trying to think....Bahah the only one I can think of right now is kind of silly. Ok, so the one I can think of is when the kids in my english class in 11th grade decided to play a prank on my craptastic teacher. I really truly disliked this guy, and he was an awful teacher. So this one kid goes up to get the teacher to sign his hall pass. And he gave the teacher the pen and when the teacher pressed down the clicker thing, it shocked him. He jumped and made such a hilarious sound. Like honestly, there is no possible way to tell the story and make it as funny as the vision I have in my head. It always makes me smile haha.

Day 42

Day 42- Your favorite musical artist's life story

Sheeeeyat I don't know! I don't even know who I would consider my favorite musical artist! So I'm going to come up with a different thingy!

Day 42- Something you're obsessed with right now!

LOST! I have been watching this show like crazy! I mean intense shit! I only have two episodes left and I'm so sad! I don't want it to end!

Day 41

Day 41- Favorite picture of yourself ever taken

I don't think this is my favorite ever, but it is one of my most recent most liked pictures. Eh I don't know.

This time last year, things were so different

So true. I mean this time last year, I was 300 pound. I was size 22/24 pants, and I had no friends in Iowa. I was all alone out here, and I was homesick. Now, I'm at least 40 pounds lighter, I am size 16/18 pants, and I am so excited to go back to school. I have my shit on lock, and looking at the big picture, I'm proud and happy with myself.

Day 40

Day 40- A dream you've had in the past week in detail

Hah ok. Some time in the last week I had a dream that I was back in New York. And Cat got with this guy who used to be her english teacher, but he was also like this guy she had a crush on that worked at CompUSA. He was like a mixture of two people, and she had this huge crush on him before she got with him, but he was much older than her. So finally she gets with him, and the whole family didn't like this, because we thought he was like taking advantage of her. So anyways, one night he "sleeps" over. In the morning he opens a champagne bottle and pours himself a glass. Previous to this morning, Cat had told me that she used to always daydream in his class that they would drink champagne together. So I'm sitting at the kitchen table, and Cat reaches for the champagne, I guess to fulfill her daydreams. So then I block her from the champagne and I look at her man and I say "If your relationship with my sister was a baby mouse, I would STOMP on it." And I did the stomping motion. And Bri, Mono and I all start laughing like fucking crazy people. And Cat and her man look really shocked. Then I woke up. It was so weird.

Seriously.

I might throw up if I see another picture picnik'd. It's like really awful. Or if I see another picture with awful photoshopping. It's just bad news bears.

Day 39

Day 39- 5 things you'd like to see changed

Oooh, I like this one!

1. I would like to see gay marriage legalized in every state in America. It's Two-Thousand fucking Ten people! How is this still an issue?
2. Legalization of Marijuana. It's less addictive and harmful than cigarettes and alcohol. Plus, the government could make money off of it, and have less people in jail for drug crimes. I mean for me, it seems like a winner all around. Plus, if America produces it, it can create jobs for loads of Americans, not only in growing, but also in manufacturing and sales. I mean bakery foods infuced with THC. It seems obvious.
3. Universal healthcare. Canada has it, England has it, France has it. So forth. So what if it makes America a little more socialist, it will be better in general. Doctors will have more regulated pay and work time. And people like me won't have to worry about being cut from health insurance
4. End Genocide. I seriously don't get why this is still an issue. There are powerful nations in the world that with a flick of their metaphorical hand could end these issues. I mean it's just ridiculous.
5. A news system that isn't based on consumerism. I'm tired of getting news about celebrities before I hear about international affairs. There could be both, but I want to have the option of seeing and hearing real news without having to search for twenty minutes or more

Book #10 Normal People Don't Live Like This

"She had a recurring fantasy of being struck by a bus. The bus would knock her into a coma for many days. All she'd have to do was breathe."

So this book was interesting. It had a lot of things I liked. I mean a lot of the ways I think and feel were portrayed in this book. Like the beauty in ugliness. Also some of the social anxiety. There isn't really much to say about it. It was intense, and I think when I reread it, I'll find a lot more.

Day 38

Day 38- Some one you think would make a good president

Hmm...I don't think of anyone I know of that would be a better president than we have already. I was so psyched that the first time I got to vote was when a candidate I felt strongly about was running. Ron Paul wouldn't be too bad either since he isn't against marijuana. But besides that, I don't really know. I'm happy with how it is now, so I'm not really worried.

Hmm, days like today...

On days like today, I'm really really glad that I don't live at home anymore. There is all this drama, and I don't even get it. I've been hearing about it, and it all just seems so silly and trivial. And I don't know what to do about it. And I don't know how bothered I really am by it. Like don't get me wrong, I don't want my family to be fighting, but at this point, I know I can't fix these things, and they are going to get into more issues. I mean obviously things have changed, and I have changed, but I don't get any of this. And like both sides want my opinion, and I just give it. But what does annoy me is that Bri goes and says that I said Cat was a bitch, which I didn't say. I don't like people putting words in my mouth. I'm going to have to say something to her about that. It's just so stupid.

Mmmm

Day 37

Day 37- Favorite cover of your favorite song

Uhhhhh....a lot of the songs I like don't have covers. Hmm, maybe I'll think of covers I like? I like Goodnight Nurse's Milkshake. It's really funny, and it's kind of screamy.

But then I also LOVE The Postal Service's version of Such Great Heights. It's actually probably my favorite cover of all time.

The thing about me is...

This is my future

Day 36

Day 36- Earliest thing you can remember

Eeek. I don't remember that much from childhood...And what I do remember has like no order whatsoever. But what I'm imagining to be my earliest memory is being back in our Kitchen in Garnerville. My mom was making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I was holding onto one of those gate things that keep kids out of dangerous areas. So she was in the kitchen and I guess I was in the play room. And then she gave me my sandwich and she said "Now what do we say?" and I replied, "Thank you mommy."

It it that, or just being in my bed in Garnerville looking at the picture of a girl at a beach that hung in our room.

Is there something wrong with me that I can't remember that much from childhood?

Hmm...words.

Mamihlapinatapai (sometimes spelled mamihlapinatapei) is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the “most succinct word”, and is considered one of the hardest words to translate. It describes “a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.

Day 35

Day 35- A thank you letter to some one who has changed your life

Hmm I kind of already did this when I wrote a letter to my parents. But I do want to say thank you to some one, so I'll write that letter.

Dear ___:

Thank you for showing me what not to do in my life. Thank you for being so bad at what you do that you changed me for the better. Thanks for being my rule book of things not to do.

Liz

I wanna tell you a secret, you can take your double standard love and keep it

This is true for every single relationship in my life. I don't take love that isn't fair. So, when my dad cuts me off health insurance and treats me differently than he would expect me to treat him, I don't really give a shit. Why don't I give a shit? Because that man is not in my book of people to care about. His "love" (I hesitate to even call it that) has no meaning for me, because it isn't the type of "love" I want.

Maybe it's because I've become too proud. But I just can't take it upon myself to call him and ask him to do anything for me. I just can't beg anymore. I'm done asking things of him, because I know I have to pay dearly for everything I ask from him.

Day 34

Day 34- What you would imagine paradise to be like

Ok, this might seem silly, but ever since I saw the heaven scene in "What Dreams May Come," that's kind of how I pictured paradise. Swaying with the change of your mind. Nothing permanent, things could change with the will of your brain. But in my paradise, my life would be on a dvd, and I could re-watch parts I wanted, and there would be endless books, and there would be everyone I loved. But I wouldn't have to spend all my time with others. I could be by myself and just enjoy the beautiful and heartbreaking paradise that exists.

Oh my fucking God.

Justin Bieber is so much better this way

It sounds like heaven....and I feel gross saying that about Justin Bieber-anything, but this sounds so fucking cool.

Day 33

Day 33- The 5 song you would have with you on a deserted island and why

1. "Big Jet Plane" - Agnus and Julia Stone: I'd pick this song because I love it and it makes me feel really calm. Like I feel like if I have this song, I will be able to relax and figure out how to survive
2. "Pursuit of Happiness" - Kid Cudi: This song would pump me up. It would motivate me.
3. "Teeth" - Lady Gaga: Really, any song off of the Fame Monster would do, just as long as it's not Alejandro
4. "Ok I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't" - Brand New: I'd choose this song because it always reminds me of my family for some reason. It reminds me of times when I would sit in the car with them and have this song playing from my headphones.
5. "I Will Possess Your Heart" - Death Cab For Cutie: This song would probably make me sad, but I need something from Death Cab, and I really love this song

So that's my list. I'd probably change it about a gajillion times, but I think that that's close to what it would be!

Day 32

Day 32- Something that Inspires you

A lot of things in nature inspires me. The beautiful things and the ugly things, and everything in between. On my morning walks I always feel so at peace, but also my mind is whirring with ideas and such. Little things about the world just spark my mind and I go crazy.

But another thing that inspires me is the culture we live in. Like the weird things that happen in society. And the misconceptions and stereotypes. They don't really inspire me in a good way, but they get me to thinking about ideas and projects I could do. The unfairness and injustices and problems make me think critically and that gives me project ideas.

Day 31

Day 31 - Guilty Pleasure

Well, Lady Gaga used to be my guilty pleasure, but I've since decided to be proud of my love for her. So now I'd say that Grey's Anatomy and any sort of chick show like that is my guilty pleasure. It's my guilty pleasure because I know it's not really a good show, and I know that it isn't doing any good for women. But I just can't help watching it! I need a little bit of drama not and then!

Day 30

Day 30- Who are you?

I am a cliche, I'm a contradiction, I'm unsure. I'm a regular ol' human being. I'm a hard worker, even though I don't really feel like I am. I am a geek and I love reading and watching movies. I'm a music enthusiast. I'm a humanist. I mean, how can I really explain myself? I am so many things, sometimes I don't know all of the things I am.

As the great Chuck Palahnuik says:

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

Now, if only the rest of the country would catch on...

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Book #9 Life of Pi

"It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse."

Wow. The end of this book has thrown me for a loop. So, Pi, gets shipwrecked and he gets stuck with a Bengal Tiger on his life boat. The whole book is about how he deals with this. It's amazing. But then at the end, when Pi is telling his story to some insurance types of guys, they say they don't believe him and that he needs to tell them the truth. He says fine I'll tell you a story you will believe even though it's not the truth. And so he tells a shorter story where the animals he is stuck with are actually people. Like, the zebra is a Japanese sailor, the hyena is the french cook, the orangutan is his mother and he is the Bengal tiger. And the way he tells it, it is exactly the same way things happen, just with the people in place of the animals. And now I don't know what to think. I mean the core of me really believes it was the people. That his way of dealing with it was to turn these people into animals. Plus, a few times in the book, he claims he acted animalistic. And maybe him seeing himself split off as the bengal tiger versus the human part of himself helps him cope with some of the things he had to do. But then another part of me is calling the core part of me a disbeliever and too logical. But truly, I really do think it was the people. And that makes it so much sadder. I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It just makes so much more sense with the people. And it would make sense for Pi to rationalize it that way. IT was a really good book. An amazing story. It is supposed to have religious importance but I didn't pay much attention to it. I liked this book a lot, and I feel like the next time I read it I will pick up on a lot more.

Day 29

Day 29- What have you learned in the last month

Hummmm. I guess in the last month I have learned quite a bit about communication. I mean I am taking a class about it. But I have also learned a lot about gender roles in American media, since I'm researching it for class. Besides those things, I'm not really sure what else I have learned. I mean I feel like I am consistently learning things about myself. Like yesterday I learned that I don't really know if I believe in god, and that I don't really mind that at all. I learn new things every day.

Working hard for that money...

Even though some of the fun college kids are coming back, the Kum & Go has been annoying me a lot recently. I can't wait until school starts, because then I'll only have to be there 2-3 days a week. It will be awesome. Can't wait to be out of this monkey suit for good.

Day 28

Day 28- A picture of you recently and a picture of you a year ago, how are you different?

Ok, I'm actually really excited about this one! Ok, so the first one is the most recent body shot I have. The second one is about a year ago. I don't know if the difference is noticeable in these pictures, but there is a difference. I've lost a good deal of weight. In the first one, I'm wearing size 18 pants, and xl tops (even though now I kind of fit into large and size 16). The second one, the sweater is 3xl, and the pants are probably size 24. So that's a physical way that I have changed. But I've also become more confident, friendlier, and more involved in life. I'm just more me.

mc chris (again...)

Lit 101

I love this man!

Day 27

Day 27- Why are you doing this 60 day challenge

I'm doing this challenge because I kind of have time on my hands. Summer time is full of extra time to write cool new things that I wouldn't have thought to write about myself!

This was a boring prompt.

Day 26

Day 26 - What you think of your friends

Hmm, well now that I actually have friends (haha) I think they are super fun. There are a few of them that I believe will be those kinds of friends that I have time limits with. But a few of them are definitely keepers! It's amazing how different things are here. Like now, the people I meet, I feel like I fit with them. And I feel like they like me as well. I feel like my friends now are people I really get along with.

mc chris

Falynn

Have you ever met a girl

and you thought she was dope?

And you wanna buy her a popcorn

and a medium coke?

But when proximity's close,

you close up shop and you choke.

Time to write a thank you note to

dear old dad for the cloak.

She's really cute

and her hair's luminescent.

I fight the urge to smell her,

cuz you know she'd get to steppin'.

But, to just observe

from across the way.

If I was working EB Games

then you would not pay (full price).

I'm nice, and sweet

and I shower twice a week.

Kids diggin' on my speak

cuz I represent the geeks.

But, I'm really hella cool

and I had sex before.

So, don't fidget with your digits

ain't no textin' whore (Oh, that's not true).

I've falynn,

and I can't get up.

Girl, I love you.

Yeah, I got a crush.

I'm on mushrooms

and I lost my lunch.

and I don't think I can make it home alone.

I stare at my shoes

and I look away.

Cuz, I think you're kinda cute,

and I like your face.

One day we might embrace.

and I'll have to hide my boner

you don't wanna do it Dottie,

I'm a rebel and a loner.

I'm a rap superstar

with a mic in my hand.

But, I can't talk to girls,

unless that girl is a fan.

But, yo, I got a plan.

I love when it when it comes together.

We'll get married and have babies,

and we'll all wear matching sweaters.

Yes, I'd do her

if I knew her.

This is hard without computers.

She don't need another stalker

or intruder to pursue her

She don't need a guy like me

who's favorite movie's Starship Troopers

Why don't you kill me, baby?

It's because I am a loser.

I'm a winner, just beginning to

roll up my sleeves.

Roll up next to me

I can't breathe and I wheeze.

Hi, my name is mc.

What's your's? That's great!

Want you in the worst way.

This is so our first date.

I've falynn,

and I can't get up.

Girl, I love you.

Yeah, I got a crush.

I'm on mushrooms

and I lost my lunch.

and I don't think I can make it home alone.

Day 25

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

1. Wallet
2. Daily Planner
3. My "Words are Great" notebook
4. The Life of Pi (or some other book)
5. Toothbrush
6. Toothpaste
7. Gum
8. Coin Purse
9. Textbook (sometimes)
10. iPod
11. Keys
12. Lipgloss/Chapstick

I think that's it! Not too much stuff!

Day 24

Day 24- A letter to your parents.

Since my parents are divorce and since I wouldn't write just one letter to both of them, I'm going to split them up.

Dear Father,

I am going to try really hard not to start or end this letter with 'Fuck you.' But to be honest, all I can thank you for is your sperm, and doing such a shitty job at parenting that I learned how not to act. Yes, you did provide for us for a very large portion of our childhood, however, no matter when asked, I would have preferred being poorer and having a more attentive father any day. You have forever ruined father-daughter relationships for me, to the point where I feel nervous about letting my children have a father. And I hate that you have made me the cliche I am. I'm done having the same conversation with you when you don't listen, and I'm done trying to help you when you refuse to even consider it. I don't respect you, and no matter what you say, and no matter how old I grow to be, I will never accept your mode of parenting. I'm sorry that your childhood was less than ideal, and I know that in comparison to your parents, you were somewhat of an improvement, but with the countless chances you have been given, I find it hard to pity you anymore. I don't feel anger for you anymore. I feel pure nonchalance about your existence. You are nothing to me.

Liz

Mommy,

You are one of the most amazing women I've ever come across. I don't think I could ever respect any one more than I respect you. Regardless of what others think, you have done an amazing job at raising us. Taking on the role of both mother and father is impossible for most, but you did it flawlessly. I can't thank you enough for the lessons you have taught me and for the love you have given me. I have utmost faith in you and your ability to be a mother. You make me laugh, and you make me feel good about myself. I couldn't ask for more. I love you forever and unconditionally.

Liz

So, I sound super angst-y in the first one, but whatever, that is how I feel for him. Actually, in all truth I would probably just send him a letter saying "Thanks for nothing." But all the same, this is pretty much it!